Puss In Boots, Part 1: Clothes for Kitties

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Puss In Boots, Part 1: Clothes for Kitties

Have you ever had a pet? I have a kidog! Have you ever had a pet who was smarter than you? Here's the story of one guy who did!

Once upon a time, there was a miller who had three sons named Thomas, Eliot, and Gus. The miller had a mill. The mill had a donkey to help pull loads to town, and a cat to keep rats out of the grain.

The miller was old and sick, and before he died, he divided his belongings among his sons. He gave his mill to the oldest son Thomas. He gave his donkey to his middle son Eliot. He gave his cat to the youngest son, Gus. He did it without the help of a lawyer so there would be something left to give. Then he said, "Goodnight, sons. Goodnight, moon.", and he died.

The youngest son Gus, who lived in a shack at the very edge of the mill's land, was not thrilled.

"With the mill and the donkey, my brothers at least work for a living," he said, "but what have I got? One cat! Cats do nothing. I mean they lick themselves sometimes, but I don't think I can charge money to see that. Oh well, I can always eat the cat – at least I'll get a hot meal."

The cat hat been curled at the young man's feet. When it heard that last bit, it jumped up and stood on its hind legs, and began to speak.

"Don't worry master, I can earn you a living better alive than if I'm dead. I can catch more than just rats, don't you know."

The young man's eyes bugged out.

"A talking cat! If only Reality TV were invented, I could make a fortune! Too bad it's the middle ages."

The cat said, "Put your eyes back in your head, master. Just get me a bag and a pair of boots, and I will bring you that fortune all right! I shalt provide for thee."

The cat's master did as the cat said. What choice did he have? That cat talked better than he did! Phrases like "provide for thee" are pretty fancy for a feline. Also, the cat had proven it was pretty tricky catching the rats in the mill.

Gus knew how to sew his own clothing. He sewed some leather boots for the cat, and he made a cape and a bag from the curtains of his father's room. The cat pulled on the boots and slung the bag over his shoulders. He saluted Gus and then jumped out the window and landed on his feet.

As the cat strolled away down the path, Gus shouted, "Hey, Puss in Boots, don't forget to bring a rat back – I still haven't eaten dinner!"

Puss in Boots made his way down to the farm next door. He picked a carrot, popped it in the bag, and continued to the fields, which were full of rabbit holes. He lay down very still and put the bag in his mouth. A fat young rabbit hopped out of a hole and into the bag. Puss leapt to his feet, and closed the bag tight. But he did not go back home and give the rabbit to his master. Puss in Boots headed for the king's palace!

Puss in Boots bowed low to the guards. They figured he must be a foreign ruler and let him in (the guards were not too bright, and were definitely not "cat-people").

Puss in Boots entered the king's throne room. He bowed low and addressed the king.

"Your majesty, I present an offering from the fields of your loyal subject... (here Puss needed to make up a grand title for his master. He looked at the king on his throne)... The Baron of Buttbigula!"

Puss In Boots opened the bag and slid the juicy rabbit across the floor.

The king drooled a little, and said, "Mmmmm. Tell your lord the Baron of Buttbigula that I accept his gift with great hunger – I mean great pleasure."

The cat skipped home with joy, pausing only to catch another rabbit, which he and his master ate with relish. Relish was all that was left in the cupboard.